Friday fun: Nakations!

I read this, courtesy Hot Air headlines (it had to be Allahpundit), and clean-freak me can only ask one question: do they clean the seats, um, extra? Ick:

When the Carnival Freedom sets sail from Florida next February for an eight-day cruise to Panama, it will offer the same amenities as any other Carnival cruise: three pools, a jogging track, a 1970s dance club and a cigar bar.

But there is one stark difference. Passengers on the white behemoth of a ship, which can carry 2,974 passengers, will enjoy those facilities naked.

The ship’s expected nude sailing – the trip is 70 percent booked – underscores the vitality of the U.S. nude tourism industry, which the American Association for Nude Recreation says brings in around $440 million a year, up about 10 percent in the last decade.

“I think when we vacation, we would rather travel with like-minded people, whether nudists or jazz music lovers,” said Nancy Tiemann, owner of the nude tourism company Bare Necessities, which is arranging the cruise. “It’s not just about getting on a cruise ship and taking your clothes off.”

Eeeew! I’m not a prude, y’all. Really, I’m not. I just think clothes are pretty:

Nude tourism appears to be growing in popularity. A survey of U.S. households with income of $50,000 or more last year showed that 17 percent of respondents saw a visit to a nude or clothing-optional resort as extremely or very desirable.

Those figures were up from 12 percent a year earlier, according to the Portrait of the American Travelers Survey of 2,539 households by the Ypartnership/Harrison group.

Though I guess naked cruising would have it’s advantages: you wouldn’t have to worry about your pants not fitting at the end of the week’s buffets!

Heh: how to combat the legions who believe the lies

Humor helps.

H/t: Allahpundit

Saturday funnies

Heh.

H/t: International Liberty (where  you’ll find another good one).

And it’s not even April first

Who’s foolin’ who?

Try it.

And giggle.

Type the URL “socialists.com” or “communists.com” and be redirected to Obama for America’s site where you’ll be prompted to answer whether you like Obamacare:

It’s the two-year anniversary of the Affordable Care Act. Since then, the law that almost everyone calls Obamacare has been doing exactly what the other side has hoped it wouldn’t do: It’s been working.

Say you like Obamacare—and you want everyone to know

Tina Korbe explains the brilliance:

It serves no point to try to rename “socialism” or “communism” or to eliminate the words from our lexicon. The terms refer to theories of social and economic organization in the same way that “capitalism” does — and the theories continue to attract adherents to greater and lesser degrees. The president has openly stated his approval of wealth redistribution and has also displayed a marked tendency toward central planning, particularly in the area of energy policy. Why he should balk at being called either a “socialist” or a “communist” puzzles me. Why not attempt to defend his ideas instead of hiding behind conservative rhetoric as he pushes a progressive agenda? I’d never recoil from the label of “capitalist” even though “the 99 percent” thinks capitalism is evil. What does it matter to the president if half the country doesn’t like his ideas? Oh, right. That’s why it matters. He has an agenda to push, yes, but he has to win reelection to push it. That’s why this prank is so brilliant. I’d love to hear the president explain why he doesn’t want those links to redirect to his website. Or, better yet, I’d love to hear him explain why he does.

You and me both.

Trick or treat!

In a mad rush: the unexpected doctor’s appointment this morning cancelled out the last of the hand-sewing on pjKid’s costume. Almost done. In the meantime, enjoy this, because humor and socialism alwas go hand-in-hand:

As long as you’re making fun of the socialists!

H/t Daniel J Mitchell.

Need a laugh? OWS edition

Seems as though everyone has a complaint, no?

HEH.

Better than auto-correct: spell check

It doesn’t get better than this. WordPress just suggested “demonizing” in lieu of “feminizing,” most likely at the suggestion of The Other McCain.

Heh.

Steyn: Obama inhabits the magical fairy kingdom of Spendaholica

If you have to get pissed off at your wickedly wasteful government, isn’t it better to laugh in your anger? Mark Steyn manages to make me alternate giggles with grimaces:

When the 44th president took office, he made a decision that it was time for the already unsustainable levels of government spending finally to break the bounds of reality and frolic and gambol in the magical fairy kingdom of Spendaholica: This year, the federal government borrows 43 cents of every dollar it spends, a ratio that is unprecedented. Barack Obama would like this to be, as they say, “the new normal” — at least until that 43 cents creeps up a nickel or so, and the United States government is spending twice as much as it takes in, year in, year out, now and forever. If the Republicans refuse to go along with that, well, then the negotiations will collapse and, as he told Scott Pelley on CBS the other night, Gran’ma gets it. That monthly Social Security check? Fuhgeddabouddit. “I cannot guarantee that those checks go out on August 3rd if we haven’t resolved this issue,” declared the president. “Because there may simply not be the money in the coffers to do it.”

But hang on. I thought the Social Security checks came out of the famous “Social Security trust fund,” whose “trustees” assure us there’s currently $2.6 trillion in there. Which should be enough for the August 3rd check run, shouldn’t it? Golly, to listen to the president, you’d almost get the impression that, by the time you saw the padlock off the old Social Security lockbox, there’s nothing in there but a yellowing IOU and a couple of moths. Indeed, to listen to Obama, one might easily conclude that the whole rotten, stinking edifice of federal government is an accounting trick. And that can’t possibly be so, can it?

For the Most Gifted Orator in Human History, the president these days speaks largely in clichés, most of which he doesn’t seem to be quite on top of. “Eric, don’t call my bluff,” he sternly reprimanded the GOP’s Eric Cantor. Usually, if you’re bluffing, the trick is not to announce it upfront. But, in fact, in his threat to have Granny eating dog food by Labor Day, Obama was calling his own bluff. The giant bluff against the future that is government spending.

How many of “the wealthy” do you require to cover a one-and-a-half trillion-dollar shortfall every single year? When you need this big a fix, there aren’t enough people to stick it to. “We are not broke,” insists Van Jones, Obama’s former “green jobs” czar and bespoke Communist. “We were robbed, we were robbed. And somebody has our money!”

The somebody who has our money is the government.

Read the rest.

The S.P. Bra

From a catalog received in yesterday’s mail:

S. P. Bra, named after a certain politician. It’s pretty, it works hard, separates the left from the right and moves the masses. Not bad for a bra. The S.P. is our go to everyday bra. Good for hunting, boating, public speaking and basically going rogue. Softly contoured cup for modesty and shaping. Jacquard textured fabric with mesh band. Underwire.

Heh. I’ll leave the photos to The Other McCain.

Good news from the border: mission complete!

Oh, it's a surprise!

No, they can’t catch smugglers of humans, but they can sieze those pesky chocolate eggs! Mark Steyn on his hazardous trip across the border with kids in tow:

I am looking this bright Easter morn at a Department of Homeland Security “Custody Receipt for Seized Property and Evidence”. Late last night, crossing the Quebec/Vermont border, my children had two boxes of “Kinder Eggs” (“Est. Dom. Value $7.50″) confiscated by Customs & Border Protection.

A joke? Nope.

Don’t worry, it’s for their own safety. I had no idea that the United States is the only nation on the planet (well, okay, excepting North Korea and Saudi Arabia and one or two others) to ban Kinder Eggs. According to the CBP:

Kinder Chocolate Eggs are hollow milk chocolate eggs about the size of a large hen’s egg usually packaged in a colorful foil wrapper. They are a popular treat and collector’s item during holiday periods in various countries around the world, including those in Europe, South America and even Canada. A toy within the egg is contained in an oval-shaped plastic capsule. The toy requires assembly and each egg contains a different toy. Many of the toys that have been tested by the Consumer Product Safety Commission in the past were determined to present a choking hazard for young children.

And yet oddly enough generations of European and Latin American children remain unchoked. Gotta love that “even Canada”, by the way: Is that an implied threat that Kinder Egg consumption is incompatible with participation in NORAD or membership of NAFTA?

The Food and Drug Administration has issued an import alert for Kinder Eggs, because they are a confectionery product with a non-nutritive object imbedded in it. As in years past, CBP, the Food and Drug Administration and CPSC work in close collaboration to ensure the safety of imported goods by examining, sampling and testing products that may present such import safety hazards. Last year, CBP officers discovered more than 25,000 of these banned chocolate eggs. More than 2,000 separate seizures were made of this product.

Let’s see – CBP, FDA, CPSC. I’m impressed it takes a mere three agencies from the vast alphabet soup of federal regulation to keep us safe from the menace of confectionery products with non-nutritive embeds.

As Janet Napolitano would say, the system worked. I hope America’s chocolate soldiers are enjoying their seized eggs this Easter.

Bonus prediction: What’s the betting that the first jihadist to weaponize a Kinder Egg makes it on to the plane?

PS My kids asked the CBP seizure squad if they could eat the chocolate in front of the border guards while the border guards held on to the toys to prevent any choking hazard – and then, having safely consumed the chocolate, take the toys home as a separate item. This request was denied. Could have been worse. Could have been a $300 fine, plus a $250 fee for seized-egg storage.

PPS The real choking hazard is the vise-like grip of government.

No lie.

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