Antidote: “Because of Love”

God knows we need one.  Get out the tissues.

Via RedState a journey of faith from a dad named Ned Ryun, who happens to be a former GW speechwriter:

I found myself at 3 a.m. the morning of November 4th, 2008, standing next to my wife’s hospital bed, holding her hand, having watched her hemorrhage off and on for several days, physically and emotionally exhausted, listening to the doctors tell us, “Very large blood clots are forming, and all the amniotic fluid is gone, and there is a very good chance this pregnancy will have to end today to protect your wife.” Our little girl, who we had decided to name Charlotte Love, was only gestationally 24-weeks old and four months from her due date.

It seemed to me that everything was spiraling out of control. Within a matter of 72 hours, we went from, “We think she’ll stay in the womb for several more months,” to “Maybe a few more weeks,” to, “We have hours.” I remember staring at that white wall of the hospital that night, powerless, feeling as though I was being inexorably being pulled to the edge of a cliff. My heels were dug in, but I was unable to stop the forward motion and now I had come to the very edge, of what I didn’t know.

But that morning there was a pause in the fight: I knew there was no point in the fighting, in the struggling. I don’t believe in chance, but in a “Divinity that shapes our ends, rough hew them as we may.” There are very interesting conversations you have with yourself in moments like I was experiencing. As a Christian, I want God’s will for my life, and I believe His will is perfect. What I was experiencing was not chance, but His will. As you take yourself thru a series of questions, answering in the affirmative, it leads you to certain conclusions, and mine was that if His will is perfect, and this was His will, then this was perfection. Of course I will be the first to tell you it did not feel like perfection.

But I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and resigned myself graciously to God’s will, took His outstretched hand and took the next step―but it was not off the edge into a dark unknown. For the next four months, I would find myself in the midst of perfection.

Doctors advised Ryun and his wife Becca to terminate the pregnancy three times after multiple warnings of the slim survival odds and the myriad health problems–brain damage, blindness, long-term disability–likely for such an early delivery should the baby live.  They were asked if they wanted the infant revived should she be delivered unbreathing.

Words of strength:

You say you believe certain things, but when confronted with actual decisions, you authenticate and validate your belief system, or destroy it, by what you actually do. My wife, Becca, and I refused to even consider the thought of ending Charlotte’s life and we told the doctors and nurses they were to make their best efforts to revive Charlotte should she not be breathing when she was delivered.

Baby Charlotte weighed 1lb 7oz at delivery, four months early.  Like many preemies, she spent the number of months to equal a full-term pregnancy in the NICU. 

And went home. 


There were no guarantees that morning that Charlotte would live, or that she would even be healthy. But we chose life, no matter the consequences. I think about the experience often, when I get Charlotte up in the morning, or she climbs on my lap to cuddle, and I know that it took place for a reason. I can’t always explain why things happen, but I do believe in a just and loving God and I know that what took place with Charlotte was because of love. And because of that love, and our love for her, there was ultimately no questioning our decisions. I don’t know what life has for Charlotte, but I do know that she gets to live and have a chance at what I hope will be an amazing life.

Pray for those who are denied that chance for life.

UPDATE: linked as a Featured Blog by Pundette. Thanks!

UPDATE: linked by Wyblog. Thanks, Chris!

4 Responses

  1. Dr. Kermit Gosnell, Poster Boy for “Choice”…

    One last link. Because we need to know that God loves us. Antidote: “Because of Love” Hug your children. Tightly. It is in them that we will find peace. It is for them that we must fight the forces of evil. It is through them that we will see God….

  2. Yes – badly needed antidote.

  3. Hey now, I just tucked two precious little boys in their beds. Whatta ya tryin to do, make me blubber??

    Lol thx for sharing this beautiful story.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: