So argues Euro-feminist Bascha Mika of women who choose motherhood.
Mika, however, has opted not for cowardice, but to remain childless. Probably a good thing, no? A continuation from yesterday’s post on “Motherhood as a Retreat From Equality,” Katrin Bennhold writes in the NYT:
Bascha Mika, author of a controversial best-selling book, “The Cowardice of Women,” published in Germany this year, thinks women have largely themselves to blame. According to her, they aren’t putting enough pressure on politicians, are failing to negotiate equal terms in relationships and often voluntarily retreat into a traditional mother role that spares them other hard questions about identity and purpose in life.
I asked and answered the “hard questions about my identity and purpose” when I had a kid because the world shifted overnight. I learned the meaning of selfless, and I’d like to think I’ve become a better person as a result. Bennhold continues:
It’s a risky strategy at a time when the economic crisis is putting male jobs and incomes at risk, when increasing longevity means bringing up children is only a passing phase in a woman’s life and when divorce rates are high. Even if childcare eats up all of the female income, there is a long-term pay-off to staying in the labor market.
“What’s the matter with us?” Ms. Mika asks German women. “Don’t we want to be free and equal?”
Even if you work for nothin’, you’re still better off not being the primary caregiver to your children. Hell, even if it costs you money to not be your kid’s mom, it’s preferable for you to work. Why is it, after 40-odd years of feminism, that the me-me culture hasn’t grown tired to these people? I have a dear friend who worries about a potential move back to the D.C. area because, as she put it, she feels looked down upon for not working as the mother of two kids.
Pardon my French, but screw that.
Commenter Misti wrote yesterday:
I take great offense! I am not “reduced” to motherhood! I am not a coward! I have a bachelor’s degree in biochemistry and worked until my first child was born. I am now a stay at home mother with 3 kids – by my educated choice! I am an educated woman who can think for myself. I am not a victim and I am not powerless. It drives me crazy that these feminists say they are fighting for women’s rights to have a choice in whatever they do. But it’s really only if that choice is to be in constant competition with your husband and pawning your kids off to other people so you can try to make as much money as possible and be “successful” and “independent”.
I am successful because I seek to honor and glorify God by putting my family first, not some selfish ambition to promote myself and my own needs and wants. Being a wife and mother IS asking those “hard questions about identity and purpose in life”. My identity is a child of God and my purpose is glorify Him – NOT myself. I’m not some brainwashed victim who doesn’t understand that the chains are off. I LIKE being a wife to my husband and a mother to my children. I LIKE that I don’t have to run an endless rat race every day in the work force. I LIKE being able to “work” (and don’t you dare tell me it isn’t work!) in my PJs every day if I want to. I WANT to be the one who holds and kisses my children all day long, teaching them what their “identity and purpose in life” is.
Amen, sister. It’s impossible to be centered totally upon the self if thoughts of God swirl about, so that battle was lost ages ago with this crowd. God was the first thing kicked to the curb. That’s tradition. The only thing that can overcome tradition is more government:
The power of tradition and lack of comprehensive state child care are strong barriers to effective gender equality.
How tired at this point. Replace fathers with welfare. Replace mothers with “comprehensive state child care.” Destroy families by any means possible. All in the name of equality.