This:
Virginity, by definition, is simply the state of a person who has not engaged in sexual intercourse. But we all know that there are many more implications to it than that, especially for women. Most traditional societies, cultures and religions place a high value on a woman’s virginity aka her chastity. So much so that it is tightly bound to her worth and her perceived self-worth.
With this archaic notion of “value” placed on a woman’s virginity comes the belief that exclusive rights to her womb should be saved for the highest bidder; that it is a commodity to be bought (in most cases by her husband) and sold (usually by her father). And if she gives it away or, God forbid, it is taken from her, she loses value as a woman and as a human being
Because we all know a young lady’s self worth is improved by sleeping around at random?
The argument above, penned by Alexandra Gekas writing at “The Frisky,” illustrates the marriage of feminist and Marxist thought. Why can’t a woman choose not to commodify herself? Is it somehow different if she doesn’t want the free dinner and drinks beforehand?
The cause of this angst on parade? An Olympian speaking out about the challenges she faces maintaining her virginity.
I guess Lolo is just too counter-cultural to make the Wheaties box. Patrick Archibold comments:
But it makes some people very angry when you speak like this. Not because of some silly notion of “exclusive rights to the womb” nonsense. It makes people angry when someone ascribes such value to something they themselves gave away without any thought. They don’t want to think about what they threw away.
If you gave away a Babe Ruth signed baseball because you didn’t think it had any value, you certainly wouldn’t like it if someone kept talking about how priceless it was would’ya?
True enough.
Filed under: Culture, Feminism, Liberal angst |
Politicaljunkie Mom 
An important part of this discussion you overlooked is the dowry. Without a dowry, it was unlikely a respectable family would be able to marry their daughters off to a respectable husband. The larger the dowry, the better the prospective husband would be in terms of social standing and wealth. Virginity was important, but not as a commodity. It was an essential precondition. It was (and still is) a simple fact that virgins don’t pose the same risk of illegitimacy. Among other problems that sluts can bring with them into a marriage. The dowry was important because maintaining a woman and children is expensive. These old traditions were practical safeguards against poverty and disputed inheritances, bigamy, scandal, etc. Such safeguards benefit all parties since I assume even flighty women don’t like to starve. This attention to practical concerns has long since been forgotten. Obviously.
I hope my children won’t read this one, but, no, I wasn’t a virgin when I met dad. However, I can tell you that the greatest concern of women I knew was not to fall in love with men they were dating. The ones who did were often labeled “psychos”. And while I can’t believe that some women remain virgins for so long (because it’s outside of my experience), if we follow the logic of the argument you cited, women who sleep around sell themselves to the lowest bidder… and that’s no fun.
“the greatest concern of women I knew was not to fall in love with men they were dating.” This hits on something not mentioned. In modern love where we are supposed to have practice sex before marriage and not get attached–guys or girls who got attached were often considered psychos when, almost invariably, one decided to break up because this was just the starter relationship–in the long run this mostly teaches us how to end relationships. Between training us to remain islands so we can separate later to making separation seem easier for the practice, when we do marry, the basics of a happy marriage, specifically thinking of the partnership over the individuals, elude us.
I have to say that contemporary feminists are probably the most repulsive individuals in today’s culture wars. They have done such incredible harm to society. First, they insist on sexual revolution for society, but especially for women. And when the results of the sexual revolution show such harm to the state of womanhood, they blame “patriarchal” society for that.
I don’ know. I’m not for casual sex for anyone, including men. But actually a ball signed by Baby Ruth is just like another ball. People ascribe a price to it because they value Ruth’s role in the history of baseball. But to those who don’t care about baseball at all [me included] , it is not priceless. In our society everything has indeed become a commodity, even God. Relations between people too: as you point, men expect sex in exchange for spending money with women. So some people come along and speak about the spiritual value of female virginity and i’d agreed if THAT was the reason it was valued in the last 10,000 years. But the real cause is that long before DNA exams, very few men wanted to raise a kid that was not his. It would be genetic suicide. So a virgin bride brought some guarantee you’d not be a fool, according to this way of thinking. I’ll not mention insecure guys who don’t want to be compared to others in sex. It did not work of course: women still sleep with other men when their husbands and fathers turn their backs, and many men raisekids they think they fathered, vigilance over women having relaxed in the last century. I don’t give a damn about virginity, although I ‘lost’ mine [if men can lose it] in a nice romantic relationship. it does not defines anyone. Still, if people prefer to wait, k, but they must reckon they won’t have any sexual practice when they come to a marriage, and will spend the rest of their lives thinking how would it be with other people. We just should be more relaxed about sex and maybe kids would not be so curious about it.
Wow, I probably disagree with everything you say in there. (1) God is no more a commodity than it has ever been. It’s a commodity if you make it. (2) Men expecting sex from spending money on women is a contemporary thing. There was a time when men earned money and spent on women in courtship. (3) The value of virginity in western cultures had more to do as a reflection on the character of the woman. (4) Sexual practice before marriage is childish. So what if one learns while married? You have to learn at some point, and the point at which you learn is arbitrary. (5) More relaxed about sex than in today’s world? Wow, any more relaxed and we’ll be in a coma.